Here’s a story of the little guy that made the big-time.

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A lowly sprog Stoker aboard his career ship, HMS Exeter, this fine fellow took part in escapades far beyond his payscale.

As his memoirs go, immediately prior to HMS Exeter’s 2004 FPDA tour to the Far East, our combatant claims he went on a rather short, but fun-filled, 3 month deployment as part of an exchange agreement with the US Military. So during the period of TELIC III and/or TELIC IV. His magical Stoker skills suppossedly qualified him as a heavy goods driver so he was obviously the perfect choice to move around left-hooker lumps of metal.

Mission complete and still fresh with his sand in his socks and a middle-eastern tan our intrepid hero told how returned to Blighty briefly before flying out of Brize Norton to join HMS Exeter and his shipmates somewhere around Bangkok, to pick up where he left off. However, Uncle Sam must have sworn him to secrecy as not one over a dozen shipmates who we contacted can recall any individual completing such an exchange, let alone our man. More importantly, he did not discuss any of his speshul operations with his shipmates, not even a knowing nod or wink, so at least he can be trusted to keep schtum.

Strangely though this appears at odds then with Exeter’s official FPDA book which lists those that joined at a point other than the original departure from port. He’s not listed. Others have also confirmed he sailed the whole way there and the whole way back.  

 

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Assuming his omission was just an oversight, as an junior Marine Engineering Mechanic (MEM2) joining Exeter fresh from training at HMS Sultan, he clearly made quick progress allowing him to apply for Gucci jobs to war zones where most would have to wait until making MEM1 and completing various extra training courses. A man on a mission this one. Anyway, the Far East Tour was completed around November 2004 and then it was back to normality for 12 months. After this is when things started to get more exciting for our chap.

Word of his Stoker skills had reached the British Army this time as he was given the chance at another 3 month exchange program, this time with REME and this time to Afghanistan during Op Herrick III and/or IV.

He claims to have completed this stint in May 2006 and has told of some harrowing tales….bearing in mind that his Facebook timeline states he left the Navy in Jun 2006. 

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Assuming he had enough time to complete pre-deployment training (although maybe as he’d already passed the All Arms Commando Course it qualified him, allegedly!!); it leaves very little time for post-deployment down-time and minimum resettlement time of 6 months prior to jumping ship for good. Oh, and he never did wear his earned Green lid on Exeter, wonder why?! So here goes, from his own mouth…somewhere outside of Kandahar and due to go out on patrol with his REME brothers-in-arms our man is knocked down with a bout of Delhi-belly.

Instead, his oppo jumps into the fold to replace him only for his patrol to be struck by an IED a short distance from camp. The story varies between 1-5 KIA, depending on who’s listening. Of course this is easily checked, with no UK deaths matching in any way the dates, places or description. Obviously though this took a huge toll and you guessed it, PTSD ensued with the tag-line “it should’ve been me”. However, a stumbling block to this story is that Exeter shipmates have confirmed he was crewing during the whole period of 2003-2006. But hold on, back to his own timeline, Feb & Mar 2006 he was on Exeter but this time in Norway.

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That can’t have been comfortable, quickly going from thermals in the Fjords to sandy fatigues in the desert, plays havoc with your thermoregulation…particularly if pre-deployment training had been by-passed to get to the job quicksmart. But then perhaps these photos shows the pre-deployment combat training in March…on skis. Running out of time now squeeze in some R&R, proper pre-deployment training, a 3 month Afghan tour and resettlement training before he left the Navy, by his own admission in June 2006.

The level of bloating is frankly gold medal standard and has been active for many years at family functions, such as here at a wedding. Strangely only the Iraq miniature medal being worn, no sign of the OSM Afghanistan.

 

And here at a garden party, describing how in the photo his medals (plural) are hidden, yet in another photo from that day only his now full size Iraq medal is sported.

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So leap forward a couple of years and now the miniature OSM Afghanistan is actually making an appearance now (the full size medal was apparently donated to the widow of one of the pals he lost, along with the rest of his troop’s medals, for her to display on a memorial plaque, if you believe that) and can be seen sandwiched between the Iraq medal and the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee. Difficult to tell exactly in the image but the OSM Afghanistan should be with clasp for in-country operations, doesn’t appear to be in this example…if that’s the case he needs to up his knowledge to be a convincing bloater.

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To keep up the level of deception you’ve gotta Iive the lie, it’s not just for war stories down the pub it’s for every second of every day. When there’s an opportunity to wear some uniform then there’s the opportunity to pin on a well deserved gong. Proud to have served, Queen & Country. Having given the Iraqi public their freedom back it can be once again seen celebrated & paraded here.

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Of course, just like that winning lottery ticket or favourite sock, now and again you can’t remember where you put things so a shout out for a loan of a campaign medal is always worth a shot. Doesn’t matter which one, just a campaign one….Congo, Sierra Leone, South Atlantic, The Somme, which one do you fancy pinning on your number one’s today?! But shouldn’t there be at least two campaign ones for Iraq and Afghan? Ah, doesn’t matter, one will do. 

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Although, Facebook isn’t the only place to big-up one’s achievements. Here on a 4×4 website forum his profile, JsyBoy83, makes claims of a couple of Iraq tours. Must’ve forgotten about one of them when spinning dits to friends & family then?! That must be the one he can’t openly talk about, the one with Delta Force. 

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Like the true professional bullshitter, to help back up your stories it’s always advisable to keep pushing out intel to brainwash unsuspecting believers, but remember, keep it plausible. As such it’s easy to give an impression of where you’ve travelled or served around the globe; Iraq, Afghanistan, North Korea and Iran, the latter two very popular Club 18-30s destinations…or maybe these was more secret squirrel ops, shhhhhh!!

D

 

Facts have been checked:

No All Arms Commando Course

No Iraq deployment

No Afghanistan deployment

No medals awarded by HM Armed Forces but instead bought from eBay or another reputable internet supplier

 

We gave him a chance to admit to his walting. However, he thought he would fool us with this sad attempt.

CONFESSION!!!

Good afternoon, I have seen that you have posted about me but have have yet answer my previous messages. As previously explained I was diagnosed with PTSD after my time in the Navy. However at the time I had large lapses of memory in relation to my time in the service.
Unlike most I did not particularly have a good time in the service and suffered at the hands of those who are now creating an issue now.

In simple terms I was an easy target as I wasn’t a drinker and as far as they were concerned a posh twat as I came from jersey. In short I was bullied over my stutter and made to feel lower than low. On a daily basis.

When I left I did not go through any of my gear, my ex wife stored it to go through later as I did not want to deal with it. As time progressed I started suffering with restless nights and horrific scenes flashing before my eyes.

At the time I did not put much though into it as it was not too frequent. However as time when on they became more and more vivid until it was starting to affect my day to day activity.
During this time, my old gear was emptied out and in amongst them were medals from Iraq and Afghanistan.

I was not at the time willing to deal with any of this, and thus paid no interest. It wasn’t until I joined the Fire Service and a year or so in when I was encouraged to wear the medals. At the time I was not entirely keen, however when I combined it with my horrific dreams and flashbacks, I just assumed that I must have been involved. As the years progressed the memories only grew stronger until I got to the lowest point in my life.

At which point I was finally diagnosed with PTSD. At the time it was put down to my time abroad however since then it has been attributed to my time in the RN. When someone started enquiring about details I realised that there were inconsistencies in my memory.

If it hadn’t of been for them I would still have been believing that I was out there. I and my partner have since received a lot abuse from others.

I have since come clean to those at work and am currently working with professional bodies locally to deal with the issues that this has raised. In short I was not in Iraq or Afghanistan, the medals that I have worn in the past were sent back to London, in hope that their owner can be located.

All I can do is apologise for my actions and hope that this can be rectified swiftly.

 

What a CAUMPER

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